Its been a while since I’ve taken pen to paper to annotate the words of my broken heart. I find that expressions are hard to come by while I continue to mend. Does subtle happiness lie dormant within me? Or will I soon be writing my greatest work yet? We shall see.
I am suffocating
I can’t breathe
These four walls are closing in
I have no where to go
Im losing my head
And nervously breaking down
I can’t think
My mind is drawing a blank
I am alone
Everything is dark
Im running in circles
When will this stop
Im lost in this world
I need guidance
But everyone is gone
No one can hear my cry
Im drowning in my sorrows
I cry myself to sleep
Having endless dreams
I can’t wake up……
rum and coke, glass of wine
she sips it slow to pass the time
cuervo gold and vodka please
Is all she has to quench her needs
a few more shots, to warm her bones
so she wont feel so all alone
altered thoughts, slurring speech
yet she keeps a glass in reach
she wales aloud in a silenced room
as 30 proofs fill her womb
lowered head, weeping eyes
just one more glass will stop the cries
so she pours it slow then drinks it fast
she knew this pain would never last
staggered walks, a cloud of haze
her mind is now a constant daze
shallow pulse, labored breath
she knows that she is close to death
but one last sip then she’ll say when
and swears that she wont drink again
no wake ups at morning’s dawn
no worries, for she had long been gone
she fades away into the night
heart mourning no more in after life
Do you trust me?
Of course I do
You know I’d never lie to you
Do you love me?
With all my heart
Don’t ever want to be apart
Are you concerned?
Of course I care
If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here
Then who is she?
She’s just a friend
Besides she already has a man
Can I hang with friends?
Sure, just not with men
Theres a double standard here my friend
I don’t want to fight
Neither do I
But I will keep talking until you reply
Why all the blame?
Thats just my way
Cause I really don’t trust the things you say
So there IS no trust?
Thats not true
I just can’t love AND trust you too
So you don’t love me?
Im not going this route
Fuck this shit Im about to bounce
So now you leave?
I was never here
And I really don’t care if you shed a tear
So you really don’t care?
I truly do
I just take my insecurities out on you
How do you really feel?
I love you for days
I just think you skanky ways
Then why you stay?
But honestly you’re not the one for me
So go away
But I want you
Maybe we can talk it through
Im so confused
What can’t you see
All of this makes sense to me
What makes sense?
When we love, its right
Buts its inevitable that we are going to fight
What do we do?
Make the worse, the best
We’re friends with
benefits issues, what more you expect?
Im here miserable while you’re out living your fantasy…..but I say thank you for making me a woman.169 plays
"Take me away. Take me far away from here I will run with you. Dont be afraid. Navigate and I will steer to the sun, we will run."-"Take Me Away" FeFe Dobson
"Imma stick around just a little while longer. Just to make sure that you’re really sure you like sleeping alone"-Rihanna ‘Loud’
A once clouded mind now lies empty and bottomed out
body’s bottled up with devil’s nectar as I fill my container once again
my cup runneth over with the sweet elixir of a Sutter Home
my shuttered home bears no noise from within, all is still
I pour, I pour
my pallet is bare, yet my womb is content
hunger no longer plagues me in this night
yet my thirst for more tends to linger
hollowed vessels long to be refilled as my glass becomes empty
I pour, I pour
Vineyard stained counters leaves evidence of a lonely night
The air is cold yet I am warmed by the volumes that fill me
sweet sips intoxicate my feeble mind that already brinks on the tip of insanity
one more drink is all i need to ease the pain, I want to refill
I love this song so much!! It def makes me feel some kinda way.130 plays
"I’ve been hurt before, but I’ve also been madly in love and happy. That’s why I do it, that’s why I put my heart on the line for love."
As I sleep away on a Winter’s night
I awake in silence
Tears stream down my face
I am sad
I grab a tissue
And press it against my cheek
To wipe away the tears of heartache
I am hurt
I lay back down
I cry harder
The past is getting to me
I am full of sorrow
I dry my face again
Hoping the tears will stop
I force a smile upon my face
However, I still cry inside
The complications and the frustrations of the relationship caused things to go sour. Every hour on the hour my mind’s racing, I’m pacing, thinking about you, me, and this…..situation. Your love from the past vanished with no record of ever being present from the start, your heart, you asked me not to break, yet you crack me like a safe and you think I made the mistakes. Please. I gave you your wants, supplied you your needs, but you still ate away at me like an unknown disease. Now our loquacious conversations are finished, you act like you can’t form one sentence or listen. What is this? Don’t know where to go, don’t know what to do, without being reminded of you and the things we went through. Together, united, I hide it, I fight it but can’t cover up the fact that I still love you. Now don’t get to cheering and misinterpret what you hearing. Just because I say I love you doesn’t change how I hurt inside, the tears I cried, the nights I lied awake, body in an unconscious state while my mind drifts on the past, saying this was suppose to last but you decided not to grasp this thing we called love. Now I got my mind made up that Im gonna wake up from this break up and no longer cover up my emotions with your makeup….Im fed up.